Peace Hacks

I spent the majority of my younger life with debilitating confidence problems.

In jr. high especially, I was jealous of the popular kids. They always said the right things, did the right stuff, wore the right clothes. They could do no wrong. I, on the other hand, seemed to be incapable of anything right.

One day, in Coach Isles’ history class, we had a pot luck for some reason, and I brought a huge bowl of mom’s pork-and-beans that I dropped in front of everyone. Coach, not a compassionate man, yelled, handed me a plastic spoon, and told me clean it up. When my spoon broke, I heard one of the cool kids lean over to a friend and whisper, super loud, “Pat…. hey Pat!!! His spoon broke!!!”

Everyone laughed.

This happened all the time, even when I wasn’t screwing something up. I’d go to bed, every night, worrying about how I’d get picked on the next day.

I did what most kids do in this predicament, I decided there must be something wrong with me, and entered early adulthood with big confidence problems. Continue reading Where Building Self Confidence Really Begins

“I’ve Seen Lonely Times When I Could Not Find a Friend” ~ James Taylor

One of the most famous singer/songwriters of all time, writing one of the most heartbreaking songs of all time, lets us in on his loneliness.
How can someone that famous feel lonely – ever?

It’s common to everyone – rich, poor, famous, insanely famous – nobody gets a break from this emotion – one that, many times, feels impossible to deal with.

As someone in their early 50’s, I’ve experienced it multiple times. Some of these episodes lasted so long I began to wonder if it would ever end, while I’ve had other moments where I felt anything but lonely.

Currently, life seems fine, but I expect the next few chapters of my life to be just as marked by lonely times as the previous chapters have been.

But that doesn’t scare me. I don’t like feeling lonely, but I’ve learned how to deal with it, and to expect something good when it ends. Following are some tricks, truths, Continue reading How to Deal With Loneliness

I sat in service a few months ago and listened as one one of the pastors addressed the importance of “cross culture” ministry, i.e., reaching beyond the white church status quo to be welcoming and accommodating to people who aren’t like us.

He prefaced his sermon with this:

“If you look around this morning, you’ll see that we’re predominately white, and that’s OK because our city is predominately white. If it wasn’t, it’d be a bad thing because we’re supposed to represent the color of our community.”

I went home and did some quick demographic research on the city this pastor referred to in his sermon. He was right, his city was mostly white, except for one area where most of the non-white people lived, the neighborhood where his church resided.

A Bridge Too Far

Sunday morning is “our” time. We want to show up, hob-nob with our friends, catch up, connect, feel good, and be comfortable.

If there’s one thing we do well in the American church, it’s catering to the whims/preferences of her congregants. Continue reading Will Your Church Cross the Culture Bridge?