Before You Judge Others, You First Have to Lie to Yourself

I like to judge people.

It gives me a momentary “rush,” makes me feel good about myself, because, if nothing else, at least I’m better than the person I’m judging.

I’m not sure how I got here.  Most of my thoughts about myself aren’t good ones.  I don’t feel like a good parent, a good spouse, a good blogger, a good Christian, etc.  One of the only times I do feel good about myself is when I see someone do something stupid and think “hey, at least I’m not as bad as that guy.”

But that’s crap – I do stupid things all the time.  I could provide a very long, very entertaining list of stupid things I’ve done recently but I’m too embarrassed, too worried that you’ll judge me and stop reading my blog.  For now, I’ll leave you with the illusion that I’m not a complete dumbass.

Turns out that you can’t judge others and not do the same to yourself.  Maybe that’s what Jesus meant when he said “If you judge others, you’ll be judged.”  It’s so true.  The harsh judgments I pass on others come right back around, almost immediately, like an old, scraggly dog you just can’t get rid of.

Two Lies, Actually

To judge others, I have to firmly believe in two things that aren’t true.

Lie #1 – I’m better than everyone else

I regularly pass judgment on people who are overweight, which is interesting because I’ve spent the majority of my adult life wrapped in 40 extra pounds.  Continue reading Before You Judge Others, You First Have to Lie to Yourself

This Ex-Cocaine User’s Opinion: Marijuana’s Only a Gateway Drug When It’s Illegal

I grew up in the Dallas area in the early 80’s.  For my friends and I, scoring a dime-bag was fairly easy.  Most of us knew a dealer, some of us were dealers. We all smoked on the weekends, never got caught, and eventually transitioned into cocaine, meth, acid, etc.

But we didn’t transition because marijuana was a gateway drug. We transitioned because of the excellent marketing skills of our dealers, who made a killing promoting their clientele to the harder stuff.

Profit was goal number one for these folk, who were none too shy about risking drug-related felonies.  Penalties for selling beyond-weed products weren’t much worse for trafficking marijuana, and hard drugs yielded more cash. Cocaine, Heroin, Meth, etc., are far more addictive, guaranteeing return clients, more than willing to trade all they have for one last hit.

Our dealers were hard-pressed to fast-track us beyond beginner drugs.

But you have to experience things like cocaine before you’ll take the risk and spend the money.  So the dealers would say things like, “You’ve been a great customer, and you’re cool, so here’s a little bonus sample. Let’s do a line together. Here’s a little for your friends – no charge.”   Continue reading This Ex-Cocaine User’s Opinion: Marijuana’s Only a Gateway Drug When It’s Illegal

How We Used Hard Cash and Disney World to Help our Kids Feel a Little Less Hatred Towards Each Other

When my wife said, “I think we should take the kids to Disney,” I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to go. The flight alone would be thousands of dollars, and we didn’t have enough to stay at a Disney resort – we wouldn’t be able to come home in the afternoon to rest.

This meant 8+ hours a day, no breaks, five days straight, at one of the most crowded places on the planet, with our three children.  We did it. And in the middle of it all something happened that none of us expected.

We told the kids they could have ten dollars a day for spending money, which would roll over to the next day if they didn’t spend it, or they could blow it all in one place if they wanted. This of course meant that my wife and I were constantly harassed by our kids, “Can we stop here and go shopping?” “Can we buy a treat?”

“It’s our money.” Continue reading How We Used Hard Cash and Disney World to Help our Kids Feel a Little Less Hatred Towards Each Other