A Revisionist’s Take on Adam and Eve

This might make some people grumpy, but the gist of Adam and Eve has nothing to do with God communicating to us what marriage is supposed to look like.  The message goes way deeper.  But, since the author wasn’t a white Evangelical, the meaning can get easily missed.

The story goes like something like this: God creates some stuff, then sits back and says “Wow, that’s good.”  Then He creates some more stuff and sits back again and says “Wow, that’s good.”  This happens a few more times, then He creates Adam, sits back and says, “not good.”  The author has set us up to expect God to really pat himself on the back at Adam’s advent, but we get the opposite.  Very strategic.

What’s not good is the fact that Adam is “alone.”  So the author brings in Eve (in Hebrew “Ish,” not sure how we got “Eve”).  Then God declares that she will be Adam’s helper.  This is traditionally interpreted as “Adam’s the leader, Eve’s the follower” and has been used throughout history to bolster the philosophy that the husband should always be in control – never questioned, always followed. People also mistakenly use this passage to defend the idea that everyone’s supposed to be married.  I’ve been a part of too many churches where single folk are looked down upon.

What’s actually happening here is that God doesn’t want Adam to be the only person on the planet, so he brings in Eve, to co-labor with Adam (ie help him) to bring in more people.  What’s fascinating is that this is the first time that God ceases to create by Himself.  From this point forward, – throughout the remainder of the Ancient Jewish and Christian Scriptures (commonly referred to as “The Bible”) – God doesn’t make a move without people being involved on some level.  Whenever God creates, moves forward, develops something, etc., He’ll be doing it with people from now on.

So again, this wasn’t written to serve as some kind of blueprint for marriage, it’s given to make two very important, often overlooked points.  God’s first act was to make a place for people, then make people. He’s still making people and we can infer from other areas of Scripture that these people are important to Him.  God’s really serious about this apparently. God’s also really serious about working with us, including us in what He’s doing, so much so that if we don’t respond, it doesn’t get done.

This is God’s first order of business – so it should be ours.  We should place people- the importance of people – at the center of our understanding and at the center of our religious life – and figure out what God’s up to so that we might join Him. Whatever it is, it’s going to have something to do with people.

Religious activities that put traditions, behavior, facilities, places of influence, affluence, etc. at their core have sorely missed the point.  Adherents of this type of religion are typically folk who place importance on almost anything but people, and can, many times, find themselves fighting for the wrong side. Alone.  Not good.

 

 

 

An Evangelical Pastor’s Apology to the Gay Community

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Hi, my name’s Mark, and I’m an Evangelical.  (all: “Hi Mark”).  Worse, I’m a pastor. Many from my tribe won’t understand why that can often be considered a bad thing.

I’m writing to make an apology.  I can’t do anything about the way my brothers and sisters are failing to reach out to you, interacting in ways that are patently unBiblical, and ultimately causing great harm.

But I can say I’m sorry.

Before I make my (our) apology, let me give some background (and a bit of a rant) that condemns – on very firm Biblical grounds – the way so many Evangelicals interact with Queer folk.

Jesus said “Do not give dogs what is sacred, and do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Sometimes Jesus used sarcasm when addressing religious people, especially people who believed they were God’s favorite.  This is one of those times.

The “holy” people in his audience were more likely to be addressed by Jesus as dogs than the “dogs” he refers to here.  He’s being sarcastic about how his audience views people who don’t have their religious shit together.  Dogs.  Pigs. People of no significant import.

That’s not who they were in His mind.

Take a look at His followers/best friends – all people who were considered to be worthless in the eyes of the holy folk.

He’s being sarcastic about “pearls” as well.    In Jesus’ day, as in ours, religious people had traditions, observances, trinkets, behaviors, etc. that were considered to be clean, shiny, holy.  Sacred.

These people from time ad nauseum have been tempted to hoist their precious beliefs, however true or untrue they might be, upon others who aren’t interested in them.  Their victims, hungry for love and acceptance, usually get angry and “bite back” as Jesus warned they would.

Telling Gay people to stop being Gay, then mistreating them on some level when they don’t respond, is a textbook example of ignoring Jesus’ very sarcastic warning here. We’re not to force our beliefs, traditions, etc (“pearls”) on people who aren’t interested in them (“pigs” as so many Evangelicals treat them today).  If we do, we’ll get our asses kicked, sort of like we are today.

Because “pearls before pigs” is such a popular activity, people who aren’t Evangelical usually don’t get warm feelings in their tummies when they hear the word “Evangelical,” much less “Pastor.”  It’s also the predominant reason why the Evangelical church is so quickly losing it’s voice in our world.  We’ve lovingly embraced an activity that Jesus not only condemned, but presented to His audience as a really stupid thing to do (what idiot would feed “Pearls” to “Pigs?”), and something that would ultimately not have a happy ending.

If this makes you grumpy, please don’t post any “You don’t know your Bible” comments below.  I spent 4 years in post graduate studies at one of the most conservative Evangelical seminaries in the country (go DTS!).  Much of that time was spent learning ancient Greek and Hebrew.  I’ve spent inordinate amounts of time studying the Bible, sitting through lectures, sermons, reading countless books, commentaries, etc.

I will say however that the interpretations here are not my own, They’re from the great (Evangelical) Dallas Willard in his book “Divine Conspiracy.” His thoughts on this changed my life.

I know the passages in scripture that you’re thinking about.  I’ve pored over them too.  None of these give you license or freedom to judge, condemn, ostracize, belittle, or otherwise cast shame upon the Gay community.  None.  Shame on anyone who uses the very word of God to make people feel horrible, and to be agents of dissension in our “Christian,” “United” States.

Remember that the people who resisted Jesus were religious.  They believed that their way of life made them better than others.  They looked down on the “sinners” and wouldn’t be seen with them.  It’s easy to be on the wrong side when your focus on God has been supplanted by a focus on Good Behavior.  That’s not what Jesus was about.

Sorry, I’ve digressed.  I’m really angry.  My apology is this:  I’m sorry that so many of us have decided to disregard the Bible’s very clear commandments to love you, serve you, accept you, walk alongside you, and be your friend.  I’m sorry for the way that so many of us look down our noses at you.  I’m sorry for the war that is ramping up against you.

You want love – we’ve responded with stones that we think are pearls.

These activities, when compared to Jesus’ commandments in our Bible, are completely ridiculous.  We, like someone trying to feed jewelry to an animal, have lost our minds.  Why would you listen to us?  I’m truly sorry for all the ways that you’ve been hurt by this.

God loves you more than you could possibly understand.  As you are, right now. Have compassion and mercy on those who have burdened themselves with darkness, seeking to change you instead of extending the love that God has cast before them.

If you’re reading this and you’re an Evangelical who judges Gay people, sees them as a threat, holds them at arms length, can’t see past their lifestyle, suffer from homophobitis, etc. – welcome brother or sister.  I understand where you’re coming from, and I’m praying for you.  But there is so much more to the Christian life than picking out 1 thing and going to war against it.

This happened in Jesus’ day too.  But the people who were considered to be horrible sinners were befriended by Jesus, then unleashed into the world to forever change the face of religion. Based on this, If He were to return, I’m convinced that there would be hoards of Gay people in his entourage, followed by the “Holy” people condemning the immorality of His followers, just as it was when He came the first time.

For now, you might want to get used to people who don’t share your orientation. God loves them just as much as He loves you.  Make friends with a few – it will help you to not be so disgusted, to see more clearly their humanity, and ultimately get more comfortable with your own.

Either way, get ready, The Bible suggests strongly that heaven will be crawling with them, so much so that the other place might look more like heaven to you than heaven itself.

You couldn’t make this up…

Please forgive the bathroom humor – this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, and I orchestrated it with my own two hands.  None of this in embellished.  I have witnesses if you’d like to corroborate my story.

Long ago I worked in a small bank with 8 other people.  The customer service representative, Rhonda, loved to play practical jokes on us all, especially the guys, so we were always on the lookout for revenge.  One day it happened – unfolded rather.  We couldn’t have foreseen the “shit storm” that would rain down on all of us that day.

The girls all went to lunch.  My friend Kevin and I decided to put a snickers bar briefly in the microwave, then, when soft enough, sculpt it into a fuller expression of itself.  We then placed it in the girls toilet, which was broken that day – there was only a tiny bit of water in the bottom of the bowl allowing the creatively formed snickers bar to bask gingerly upon the fine white porcelain.  I added a little coffee and covered it with half a square of toilet paper.

It sat there for an hour or so.  The elements seemed to meld together – the coffee, the melted chocolate, the water – it was perfectly convincing.  As the girls pulled into the parking lot we sprayed Lysol brand air freshener throughout the office to spark things off.

“What in the world happened?” the girls sang out in unison as they were greeted with the scent of foul play.  Rhonda, who hated it when we let non-customers in off of the street to use the bathroom, scolded us upon hearing that we had broken her cardinal rule.  Cassie, now in the bathroom to investigate, screamed in horror.

The girls ran back to take a look.  Kevin and I followed.  The girls gathered around the potty like first responders to an auto accident.  Kevin whispered to me “Grab that knife over there and cut it up.”  As I moved toward the toilet, armed, announcing my intentions, the girls, now 100% convinced that this was no chocolate bar, screamed even louder and ran out into the lobby.  This was my finest hour.  I stabbed the snickers bar with the knife, removed if from the toilet, held it high, and gave chase.

Marissa, 4 months pregnant, took one look at me and began to throw up in her trash can as I paraded around the office holding high my scepter of power.  My boss Blake, a somber and somewhat negative fellow, was laughing so hard he could neither see nor make a sound.

Rhonda was now standing outside of the building but poked her head in to see what would happen next.  I approached her desk, lifted the impaled snack, and made a threatening gesture, suggesting strongly that I was about to slam the whole thing down onto her work station.  She screamed (what I remember to be in slow motion) “Noooooooooo !!!!”  The vein on the port side of her neck filled with blood.

As the now soaked and foamy snickers bar splashed hard upon Rhonda’s Office Depot calendar and everything else within a 10 foot radius, all the girls screamed.  I guess it doesn’t reflect well upon me that they actually believed I would run around our office with what they thought that thing was on the end of my knife, but it doesn’t matter.

I don’t really remember what happened next.  My mind, and my heart, were too full for anything else.  It was a good day.