I’m old.

And tired.

I have limited emotional energy reserves with a side of three children – I have to be super careful with my worries, fears, etc.

So, a few years ago I made some pretty massive changes to the way I think about the opinions of others.  I’ll invite/encourage you to do the same.  But a quick disclaimer:

These are simple steps, and I promise that they’ll make perfect sense to you, but they’re not easy. Turns out I had become a bit addicted to the things that kept me chained to my perception of how others thought about me. Little about what follows was a quick, easy, “change of mind” kind of thing.

Insecure About Something That Never Mattered

I’ve been worrying about this for a long time – millions of hours spent sweating over my mistakes and shortcomings – how others might be talking about me, or laughing.

My habit began in middle school. I was a “dork,” surrounded by other kids who loved to poke fun about the way I looked, or something stupid I did. I had no idea how to handle it, so I agreed with them, and accepted their labels.

Like so many in our culture, I entered adulthood believing that I was only good if others thought I was good.  If someone hated me, or laughed at me, that meant I was bad, and it hurt.  The opinions of other people began to matter way more than they should have.

Having lived like that for most of my life, I can now declare with the utmost confidence that the negative opinions of others don’t matter.  Worrying about them doesn’t “work.”  It doesn’t do anything but bad things. Continue reading I’m Not As Insecure As I Used to Be: 3 Reasons Why