Every year I take a trip to Costa Rica to pursue a very large bucket list item: surfing. I finally got to go for the first time since COVID, and my neighbor tagged along, so this trip was extra special.
There’s no way to get torn up in the ocean for 2-3 hours a day without a good celebration after, so I planned on taking a break from my alcohol break, just for the week. Upon my return, theoretically, I would continue my year-long abstinence campaign.
We hired a surf instructor who took us to Playa Grande on day 1. Paddling out to the back break was murder and I spent enough time in the water to remember that I’m still not the best surfer in the world. For the record, it’s not a good idea to slam a burger and a pina colada before paddling out into the big stuff.
During our week, Ryan and I didn’t drink a ton, but we drank daily, toasted our efforts, walked on beaches, talked about many things, and relaxed sans children. We really needed a break from at-home dad life.
It was a memorable trip, but I can’t say that it was more fun than my trip to Hawaii with Elaine in March. I didn’t drink then but had an equally amazing week. On this Costa Rica trip, drinking was fun, but it didn’t add any overall value; I won’t be tying the best memories to alcohol.
One of the things I’ve noticed about this no-booze journey is that my life is not worse off without it. When I reflect on the past 7 months, I don’t see desolation, dead trees, and grey skies like I do when I look to a future without alcohol. There have been good times and bad, like always, but it’s been no different than my life with booze, save the following exceptions:
First, I’m much more patient with the kids. Earlier this week, our 11-year-old Amara was packing for her first school-sponsored overnight trip. We were going through her list and ran into a huge, unexpected hurdle about the need to bring extra shoes. It took three hours and a 500-word essay to resolve.
I kept my cool the entire time.
Since I stopped drinking, episodes where kids are being unreasonable, and dad responds by losing his bacon have been few and far between.
Second, something happened a few days into the trip that surprised me. All of a sudden, and for no apparent reason, my emotional wellbeing took a bit of a dive. I was happy to be at the beach with a good friend but struggled with a bit of depression that I haven’t felt in a long time. It all went away around cocktail time of course, then returned the next day, making cocktail time a bit more important than it should’ve been.
Here’s a working theory on what happened and why: whatever I gained in 7 months of no booze came on gradually, almost imperceivably. When I dove back into drinking, it went away fast, so fast that it made my head spin. It might be that the benefits of no booze weren’t apparent until they suddenly disappeared.
Back on the wagon, I’ve been home for two weeks, maybe struggling a little but I know that won’t last long. I don’t feel guilty about taking a break, mainly because it was intentional and because of the many things I’m reminded of.
As all my trips to the beach, this one is now part of my favorite memories, something I’ll reflect on when I’m older and/or when life is nothing but the beach. Again, these memories have little to do with alcohol, and more to do with time away from the rigors of my life here, the ocean, getting .005% better at surfing, and hanging out with a friend.
The funnest part about the alcohol started a few weeks before the trip, dreaming about the freedom of drinking a beer after surfing, or sitting at a sweet oceanside bar sipping cocktails. When I look back on the trip, it would have been just as fun booze free. The same memories would’ve been made, and nobody would’ve gotten sick at Playa Grande after 2 hours in waves that were too big for us, funny as that was.
