Instead of Resolutions, a Reclamation.

In the beginning of “A Christmas Carol,” just before Marley’s ghost departs, a window slowly opens in Scrooge’s sitting room revealing an awful scene in the streets below. As most of the “Scrooge” movies have it, there’s a bunch of ghosts flying around (it is a ghost story after all), mourning in Marley’s fashion, many of whom Scrooge recognizes.

I know of one hollywood rendition that attempts to unpack what’s illustrated in the book, but most skip over it entirely. If the movies had it right, this scene would be unforgettable, but few moviegoers are aware of it.

In a nutshell, the ghosts are trying to help the poor but are no longer able. In death, they see and feel the plight of humanity but can’t do anything about it. In life they had more power than anyone else to ease humanity’s suffering, now mourning the fools they were, and the suffering that stands as a result.

The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went. Every one of them wore chains like Marley’s Ghost… Many had been personally known to Scrooge in their lives. He had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ancle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power forever.

Maybe Hollywood skips over this because it’s too difficult to render.

Either way, this scene defines the book’s message: Scrooge’s problem isn’t that he’s stingy, or that he doesn’t care about the poor and needs to get his act together. There is a day of reckoning coming for the old man, one where he’ll be reconciled with humanity, as his ghostly comrades were, and will mourn the loss of his mothballed earthly power. This very short book isn’t about money, or benevolence, or helping the poor. It’s about power, the forces that convince us to hoard it, and the personal violence that comes as a result.

The Bible addresses this as well; power is, at least, a major theme in both the Old and New Testaments. In these, God has given humanity some impressive abilities to do a bunch of things that He could very well do on His own. In addition, he’s allowed an equally immense amount of freedom to do with our power as we wish. We can pump it unfettered into the lives of others, or keep it entirely for ourselves, and all points in between.

What we do or don’t do with it will have an enormous impact on who we become, regardless of what we believe about God, how often we read our Bibles, live a “moral” life, etc.

And so the Bible is rife with stories, parables, propositions, and ourtright commandments in the hope that we’ll do what’s right, or, “righteous” as it’s so often put, with the power that’s been alotted to us. As Dickens has suggested, there is a day coming when we’ll see things much more clearly, more intimately connected with humanity than we could ever imagine – an impossible oneness – forever redefining for us the proper use of our reach.

The idea that God would give us mortals any power at all is fascinating to me, while I’m also left scratching my head, wondering why we can’t have more. The God who can do anything He wants put a very large fence around what we can and can’t do, then sent His son to walk around for a bit, showing us that there’s something on the other side.

For now, we’re forced to be happy with the way things are.

But we want more, not because of some character flaw, or from our tendency towards selfishness, but because we were made for more. The lust for power doesn’t begin with an absence of moral purity, it begins with a desire that God placed in all of us. Sure, we can corrupt it, spending our entire existence scratching and scraping for what will never amount to more than a few scraps, relatively speaking. For those of us who get suckered into that, there will be plenty of errant philosophies and behaviors that will attend our journey, as it did for Scrooge. But at the base of it all will be a very good, holy desire. For now, there’s a hedge. We can’t have the power that we want.

There is however a hole in the fence, a singular place where limitations don’t exist.

Humanity.

We can give, love, sacrifice, reconcile, heal, etc. all we want. And it doesn’t leave us with feelings of futility and emptiness, nor does it launch us onto a trajectory where people no longer matter, where our singular pursuit is the only thing that has weight and glory. There are no give-aholics, or, barring a few exceptions, people who have destroyed their lives helping others. There certainly aren’t any stories written about someone who’s been overthrown by benevolence, visited by four spirits in the night who convince him to reconsider.

Maybe we can’t fly, or make things appear out of thin air, but we can operate nearly unfettered here, with all the power we need to move mountains.

But we frequently don’t. We’re not interested in this kind of power, though we own it in heaps and mounds. Dickens offers some insights into why, launching Scrooge upon an oddyssey in every sense of the word, illustrating for the reader what happened to the old man and how he got so far removed from who he was and the power he possessed.

At the end, he is reclaimed, as the first spirit promised he would be, like a ship that’s been uncapsized, or an old, rundown building that’s been put back to rights.

He then made bold to inquire what business brought [the first Spirit] there. “Your welfare!” said the Ghost. Scrooge expressed himself much obliged, but could not help thinking that a night of unbroken rest would have been more conducive to that end. The Spirit must have heard him thinking, for it said immediately: “Your reclamation, then.”

But this required, among other things, that Scrooge revisit his best and worst memories: abandonment as a child, the day his love walked away, a grand party at Fezzywig’s; formative moments that his love of gain had forever evicted, supplanted by a large lump of nothingness. Freed from these, Scrooge was left at large to become a zombie of sorts, utterly unattached to the weight, glory, and plight of humanity, his own included.

Standing in these memories at an intimate distance forced Ebenezer to revisit the pain, loss, and joy that he had forgotten, reconciling himself in a way that didn’t allow much room for finance. Instead of sitting through a verly long lecture on the evils of greed, Scrooge was taken on a journey that shook the scales off of this particular sin, showing it for what it is. In the true presence of humanity, our bullshit tends to catch fire.

I can’t help thinking that a similar visitation might do me some good, too.

I’m no Scrooge. My past is filled with moments where I’ve managed to help, connect, give, sacrifice, etc. But I’m not entirely unlike him, struggling to see the good in people because I can’t see past the bad. This hasn’t served me well – the older I get, the fewer the humans who live up to my standards.

Oddly, my good memories seem to be fading as well – the “Christmas past” department of my mind seems more filled with all the things that went wrong: awkward moments, a few episodes where I was laughed at in public or picked on at school, multiple betrayals, bad decisions. Epic mistakes.

I have only vague recollections of the good things: mentors and friends who sacrificed on my behalf, adventures from my aviation days, leadership successes, surfing with Jeff and Rafa, people I’ve led and mentored, memories from my childhood, best friends, parties, every single Christmas, that time I officiated a wedding at Beaver Creek ski resort and spent nearly the whole reception fielding unsolicited, very sincere complements. I’ve done plenty of weddings, none were like this. For some reason, I don’t spend much time here. Seems like folly to me.

I read “A Christmas Carol” every year and am ever more concerned that I might be experiencing a bit of Scrooge’s mustard. What kind of journey am I on that’s left me more amnesious and judgmental than last year?

What have I evicted that’s cleared such a large space for these nothings?

Am I in need of a Scrooge-level reclamation?

While I spend plenty of time ruminating on myriad bad memories, I won’t admit the pain. They only get enough space to remind me that this world is a dangerous place, that I have to protect myself, and that, in the end, I’m the only one I can trust.

That was Scrooge’s predicament, according to his soon-to-be ex girlfriend:

“You fear the world too much… All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one by one, until the master-passion, Gain, engrosses you. Have I not?”

In our defense, this is what happens when traumatic moments aren’t handled correctly. They soon take over. Maybe that’s why the first ghost thought it so important for Scrooge to revisit them.

It reminds me of what happens in a bad marriage. The infractions that are sure to happen in every marriage aren’t reconciled, so they’re left to pile upon each other until the good can no longer be accessed. Given enough time, the couple becomes convinced that there’s nothing left, though it’s still there, just buried.

I have to assume that something similar is happening in my soul, and I’m left convinced that this might be my best opportunity for growth over the next ~ 363 days. But the difference between Scrooge and myself is that there isn’t anyone to force or frighten me into such a revisitation. These memories, good and bad, are painful, excruciatingly so in some cases. I don’t want to go, and probably won’t.

So, because I’m a Christian of sorts, and because I’ve experienced the crazy side of God enough to believe that more is possible, I’ve asked for something similar; maybe not ghosts and all, but some reconnection with the parts of me that have been shelved in favor of something much less human.

 

Image courtesy of SwapnIl Dwivedi at Unsplash

What is the Purpose of Prayer?

It’s one of the most unpopular Christian disciplines, but not from lack of faith or desire. There are barriers here – deeply seated emotional and spiritual things that keep us from understanding the purpose of something that’s fundamental to a happy life.

I’ve been a Bible-believing Christian for 30 years – a professional one in some cases – and have never been a fan of prayer. That’s problematic if you know anything about my culture; everyone expects leaders and pastors to shepherd their flock in a number of activities, prayer being at the top of the list.

I don’t like being quiet, or still, or sitting in a bland, multi-purpose room at 6:00AM with a bunch of other guys taking our turn to talk to God about the things we want, carefully curating our requests to avoid the appearance of overt terrestriality. I’d much rather hang out, drink beer, laugh, joke around, etc.

Those things are holy too.

On top of that, I can’t tell you how many of my prayers have gone unanswered. It’s always felt like a waste of time, unless things aren’t going well, or I’m frightened about something, then prayer suddenly makes sense and I pray like the Bible tells me to. When the crisis fades, as it always does, I’m back to my old faithless ways.

In my defense, it’s a difficult thing to get your head around. What’s the purpose of prayer if God already knows what I want? Why ask? I hate to admit that this makes me a little angry. My head is constantly buzzing with the things I want out of this life, and the God who sees and knows all expects me to ask for them, and probably won’t deliver. For example, I’ve been blogging for 5 years now, hoping that I might bag at least one viral post, or gain enough followers to launch my drivel into the world of legitimacy. I refuse to pray for this because it sounds so unspiritual, but He knows I want it. Why not skip the whole prayer thing and just give it to me?

I’m fully aware that God’s not a gumball machine. I’m merely frustrated that my epic desires seem to go so unnoticed. It feels like a game to me.

On top of that, what’s the purpose of prayer if God’s going to do what He wants to anyway? Sure, there are a couple of stories in the Bible where someone’s prayer seems to put a dent in the almighty’s trajectory, but those are exceptions. God doesn’t get out of bed in the morning without a plan – everything is “foreordained,” so why kneel at the foot of my bed and suggest anything different?

Rot, Interrupted

St. Paul had some interesting thoughts about the purpose of prayer, one in particular that’s always stood out to me:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Phillipians 4:6-7

What is it that our hearts and minds need to be guarded from? And what does prayer have aything to do with it?

To understand this better, I’ve always leaned heavy on the following analogy, but hang with me as it’s a bit unspiritual.

If I put a piece of chicken on the counter and leave it there for a few days it will rot, not because chicken goes bad by itself, but because there are tiny things floating around in the air that will will take up residence, eat, then do what all organisms do afterwards. That’s what’s rotten about a rotten piece of chicken. If you could remove all of these “deposits,” your chicken would be restored. But after enough time, the whole thing is infested, a microbial city of sorts, embedded with all of the scat that attends it.

If I instead wrap the chicken in plastic, suck out all the air, and throw it in the fridge, it’s “guarded” from the trillions of homeless microbes floating about in my kitchen. Few organisms can survive a low oxygen enviroment is near sub-zero temperatures.

Paul’s understanding of us was much more chicken-on-a-counter forward than our’s tends to be. We don’t frequently consider the idea that the thoughts and activities floating around us have one goal: land, eat, shit, repeat. We also don’t consider, as Paul did, that we’re surrounded, always: mere sin avoidance doesn’t do the trick. Prayer, so long as it’s accompanied by thankfulness, is analagous to putting our heart/mind combo in a place where the bad stuff can’t get to it, “guarded” from the things that we’re sure to fall victim to otherwise.

In Paul’s thinking, the final result, and the overall purpose of prayer is peace; the kind God has, one that no human could hope to understand or come up with on his own. It’s within this peace that we find ourselves suddenly surrounded by the beauty of our world, our relationships, and our life. The endgame here is the annihilation of anything that might throttle this peace, keeping it from roaming around in our heads like a million microbes looking for a place to land and take up residence. We don’t need new things, or a different situation, or better relationships, etc; we need peace – the kind that thrives in any situation.

Peace was a big deal in Paul’s thinking, much more so than things like “forgiveness,” “unity,” “mercy,” etc. –  the things you might think would have more emphasis. For sure he believed that the greatest thing in the world is love, but Paul never commanded his followers to let love be the predominate rule by which we might live:

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Collossians 3:15

Notice again that he’s not talking about “the peace of people.” He’s referring to something that resides within and flows directly out of the person of God Himself; something much more likely to stick around when things get tough. Either way, this is where we begin. Without peace there is no love, no understanding, no unity, no mission, and certainly no happiness.

To use Paul’s words, without peace we are unguarded, and without prayer there is no peace.

I’m happy to call out my own frailties here. I try to show up, especially in blog form as a person whose life is characterized by some modigum of peace. But the last 4 years have put a very large burr in my saddle. I can’t recall a time when I’ve been so frustrated with my Christian brothers and sisters. Sure, there’s a Biblical precedence for this kind of thing; Jesus made a whip and cleared out the temple, He called a certain politician a “rat.” John the Baptist called the religious leaders of his day “a den of snakes.” The kind of vitriole I’ve dumped upon you over the past 4 years can be found all over the place in the Bible.

That doesn’t mean that my unpeaceful moments have been driven by the spirit of God, as they were in the above episodes. Maybe I’m just being a jackass. I’ll leave it to you to decide. Suffice it to say that it’s possible to critique, even condemn, and still be ruled by the peace that Paul has called us to. At the same time I think that anyone who seeks to critique and condemn should move forward with bracing humility. That’s where I’ve struggled the most.

If you ever find me overthrown by judgments, pointing my finger at everyone else while utterly failing to see the log in my own eye, you can bet that I’ve abandoned the discipline of taking my requests before God and accepting the world that I live in with a spirit of thankfulness.

The most peaceless moments of my life have always been and will most likely always be the most prayer-less.

 

image by Jude Beck at unsplash.com

In America, Christmas Isn’t About Jesus. Here’s Why That’s OK

Mom always made a huge fuss at Christmastime, arguably the most Jesus-forward holiday on the Christian calendar. She went a bit nuts to be honest, but you won’t find me complaining. I loved everything about it.

I’ll admit that the presents were fun, but I can only remember a few of them over the years; a bike with green tires and a speedometer, an airport play set, a .22 caliber rifle, etc. My memories are much more populated with trees, lights, songs, family, road trips, midnight mass, opening 1 present on Christmas eve, and best of all, mom and dad slowing down a bit to spend time with us.

To this day the smell of a Christmas tree throws me back a million years. I still can’t force myself to get a fake one.

As a good Catholic family, we celebrated advent, and were well-versed in the Bible’s Christmas stories. I loved those too. We’d gather around the advent wreath, light whatever candles that marked our point in the journey, sing the best Christmas songs, hold hands, pray, and be together.

But for me, Christmas was never about Jesus. Even as a seminary-trained former pastor, a once professional Christian, it still isn’t. Its never been about the presents either, much as the Grinches of the world try to convince us that they’ll be the ruin our kids.

Christmas has always centered around the moments when I was closest to family. Those are my best memories. Bar none.

I reckon it’s the same for the rest of my Christmas-loving comrades. The people I know who love it the most also had parents who came down to earth for a moment, making huge, indelible memories.

I can’t say that Christmas for me is completely devoid of Jesus, but I’m no more focused on Him during the holidays than any other time of the year. I believe certain things about New Testament Christianity that have invaded every part of my life; marriage, friends, family, parenting, money, politics, etc. I don’t always show up like I should, but each year finds me a bit more overthrown by it all.

But for many in America, Christmas is about anything but Jesus, and that puts a real burr in our saddle, another reminder that the non-Christian world is clueless when it comes to things that really matter.

You can imagine how this lands for the non-Christian Christmas lover, wondering why their way of celebrating Christmas makes so many Christians mad, DURING CHRISTMAS. If we’re supposed to be focusing on Jesus, why are we so focused on everyone else?

We should be happy. This is the time of year when the whole world, believer or not, is singing OUR songs:

This, this is Christ, the King
Whom Heaven guards and angels sing
Haste, haste to bring Him laude
The babe, the son of Mary

Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”

Silent night, holy night!
Son of God, love’s pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His Gospel is Peace
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother
And in His name, all oppression shall cease

In addition, non Christians will attend church in droves on Christmas Eve, hearing sermon after sermon on the person of Jesus Christ. How in the name of Zeus’ fanny pack can this make us angry? Yes, for many, Jesus isn’t the reason for the season, but our world is more focused on Him at Christmastime than any other time of the year. Shouldn’t we be celebrating?

The Bible tells us so:

“Party with those who party…” ~ Romans 12:15

In seminary, I had the privilege of studying “mission” under the great Mark Young, now the president of Denver seminary. I loved to sit back and watch this guy slaughter sacred cows en masse, as us Christian folk tend to many. He helped us understand what it truly meant to spread the hope, peace, compassion and forgiveness of Jesus and avoid the many barriers that religious culture and tradition might put in our way.

He led me to a place of freedom where I could love and serve the church, but ask hard questions about how we show up in the world. If my rants and critiques are bugging you, talk to him.

Anyway, it’s during Christmas that Christianity’s attempts to mold the world into our image are most blatantly apparent. We want the world to be “Christian” far as we understand the term, and can be frequently found forcing our ways upon people who aren’t interested. Jesus warned us about this, with His “pearls before swine” narrative; what fool would try to force-feed something that doesn’t look like food?

In our confusion we miss His meaning. To us, the “pearls” are holy precious things while the “pigs” are God’s enemies. “Keep your religion to yourself” we hear, “those pigs are too dumb to know better.” It fits well with our clueless, “circle the wagons” brand of religion, keeping us from a deeper understanding of Jesus’ message. In our defense, it’s pretty sarcastic, and not very flattering: the “pearls” are religious customs and artifacts that have little meaning to God, while “pigs” are the people we’re supposed to be reaching, or in this scenario, and frequently in the teachings of Jesus, “feeding.”

“Christianity preaches the infinite worth of that which is seemingly worthless and the infinite worthlessness of that which is seemingly so valued.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

There are few passages in scripture that better illustrate our failing relationship with the non-Christian world and the reality of their negative posture towards us. We accuse them of not focusing on Jesus during Christmastime while they’re hungry for some evidence that we’re focused on Him at all.

But we’re tired. We’ve been on the defensive for so long. We feel threatened, cheated, misunderstood, and long for a day when we’ll have some influence. It’s no wonder we’re pointing fingers, focusing on the faults and failures of others while refusting to take a look at our own garbage and all of the opportunities for peace and hope that lie underneath it.

This Christmas, let’s instead think about how our lives might revolove more around Jesus next year, so much that the world around us can’t help but notice. Let’s spend more time with people who don’t think, live, or vote like we do. Let’s serve, listen, engage, and encourage – not just the people we go to church with, but our neighbors, co-workers, and social media connections.

For many of us, that will require a big shift. But if Jesus is present in our lives, i.e., if the God who created the universe has somehow magically taken up residence within, big shifts will happen. They’ll mark our lives. Change is what God wants, and is a bigger sign of faith than things like morality, Bible knowlege, church attendance, etc. The Bible itself has called us to make an impossible turn away from the icebergs of contention, judgment, retaliation, etc., and point our bow towards the non-Christian world to connect, love and understand them with the same ferocity that God has shown us.

When the Christian life is aimed elsewhere, it doesn’t matter who the reason for the season is. The point of our existence as Jesus followers is to wallow in the peace, love, hope, and joy that resides within Jesus then spread it like wildfire regardless of what it might cost us.

I’m not alone in this. Some of the greatest Christian thinkers have expressed something similar:

“The Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ… If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose.” ~ C.S. Lewis

“The Church is the Church only when it exists for others . . . not dominating, but helping and serving. It must tell men of every calling what it means to live for Christ, to exist for others.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Every Christian is either a missionary or an impostor.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

“Our witness – good or bad – is the overflow of our lives.” ~ Alistair Begg

“If he have faith, the believer cannot be restrained. He betrays himself. He breaks out. He confuses and teaches this gospel to the people at the risk of life itself.” ~ Martin Luther

These guys aren’t talking about forcing our beliefs on others, or regurgitating things about Jesus to people we’ve never met. They’re referring to the fine art of sharing our lives with others, being in such proximity that the life we have with Jesus is difficult to ignore. The opposite of this is condemnation, finger pointing, judgment, spiritual and political segregation, and in general shouting from a distance what we think the non-Christian world should be up to. Pearls as these may be, the world is in need of something different, much more akin to the stuff that Jesus has laid in our hearts.

But it’ll always be easier, and far less risky, to instead hurl garbage – the last thing we should be up to at Christmastime.