On the night of His death, Jesus prayed something frequently misinterpreted.
As a Jewish person who’d grown up during the Roman occupation, He knew what He had gotten himself into – the manner in which He’d be leaving this world – the beating, blood, the Roman “cat,” and the grand finale that’s been crafted into so many fashionable Christian accessories.
He could have asked God for anything that evening: “Make sure they’re all in a good Bible study.” Or, “help them follow your rules.” Or, “Give them the strength to take a stand and vote as you would,” etc.
Ironically, none of these were on His mind.
This guy’s about to go through hell – literally so –and He had one thing on His mind.
“Let them be one…”
This is frequently butchered into something akin to “Let them be all on the same page,” or, “Let them all be nice to one another.” Of all the passages in the Bible, this is one of the easiest to interpret; after Jesus said “let them be one,” He unpacked what He meant:
“… in the same way that you, Father, are in me, and I in You, that they also may be in Us.”
Not “everyone in agreement,” or “on the same page,” but everyone “in” Him, Him “in” us, and by implication us “in” each other – “in” so deeply that we all become “one.”
He’s praying that we would all have the same relationship that He has with God – and at the core of it, an impossible level of intimacy, closeness, and interdependence.
What fool would pray for mere humans to be so close?
Show me what a man prays to God when he sees His end, and I’ll show you what He’s most passionate about.
Because this was on Jesus’ mind during His most challenging, scary, doubt-filled moment, I’d argue that it’s His biggest agenda; not to mention the fact that human intimacy – human-to-human closeness – seems to be emphasized more in the Bible than anything else, maybe even more than intimacy between humans and God.
Here are some examples (my paraphrases):
“If you’re on your way to worship God and you have a relationship that’s broken, leave your offering at the side of the road and go,
fix it.”
Everything revolved around “worship” in Jesus’ day – of all the big deals in the ancient Jewish world, it was the biggest. Suggesting that relationships are more important, and that it’s better to abandon your offering for someone else to come along and eat, steal, or sacrifice it for their own sins would be anathema to the first-century Jewish mind.
“This I command you – that you love one another.”
This is the only time that Jesus referred to one of His commandments as an actual commandment, speaking to a group of people who felt strongly that God is the only one who should be uttering commandments.
This of course doesn’t mean that His other commandments aren’t commandments. He’s simply driving home the idea that everything else revolves around this, while reminding us who the boss is.
According to New Testament guru Bill Mounce, the verb Jesus uses, ἀγαπάω (agapaō) typically means, “…the active love of God for his Son and his people, and the active love his people are to have for God, each other, and even enemies.”
Jesus isn’t calling people into nice feelings for one another, He’s calling for intimacy.
It’s something that’s so extreme, it might cost you your life.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Love, intimacy, closeness, interdependence, etc. – the kind God and Jesus share – is a big deal for this guy. But somehow we seem to have missed it, placing emphasis instead on things like morality, church attendance, politics, and allegiance to myriad expressions of Christian culture that have nothing to do with God.
We’re American and Christian. It’s important for us to admit, hard as it may be, that our Christianity calls just as many shots in our lives as American culture does. As such, we’re isolated, self-dependent, individual, free-range Christians, living in bold-faced defiance of the closeness that Jesus seemed to want most for us.
Sure, we’re surrounded by people – we go to church, Bible studies, community groups, prayer meetings – but we’re so busy doing “God stuff” that we forget to do the work of deeper relationships, and we bear the marks of our isolation – anger, addiction, relational problems, and a religion that could never change anyone’s life.
And we wonder why nobody wants to listen to us.
But who could blame us for ignoring the importance of being close to one another? Intimacy, and all the garbage that goes along with it, is the Brussels sprout of emotional well being. Forgiveness, patience, questioning ourselves, forgiveness, putting up with people who talk with their mouths full, the not-so-occasional betrayal, forgiveness, etc., are difficult.
We love to refer to this difficulty as “toxic,” something dangerous, like the hardship that comes part and parcel to any relationship should be avoided at all costs. So, when things get difficult, we bail, become even more isolated, and look to our religion to solve the resultant problems that only intimacy can reconcile.
In our culture, because we don’t value intimacy, and because we sure as hell don’t value the pain that comes with it, we don’t live as Jesus hoped, and there’s no faithful Christian comrade to straighten us out because this stuff simply isn’t on our radar.
This might be making some of you angry. If you believe God wants morality more than anything else, this will sound like utter bunk. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched people (myself included) grit their teeth, trying like hell to obey God’s rules, only to fail miserably because they’ve isolated themselves from deep relationships.
Addiction, depression, and despair always follow close behind isolation, making “good behavior,” or, “obedience to God” a near impossible business.
On the flip side, people who take relationships seriously are the mountain-movers. Great strength comes from flexing the muscles required for intimacy.
Wanna please God? Make Him happy? Go mend that broken relationship. Stop excusing yourself from your friendships every time something goes badly. Reconcile with your estranged spouse, kid, dad, sister, coworker, etc. Go do the hard work, get some battle scars and the wisdom/character/strength/maturity that comes with them, then teach others to do the same.
There have been no cosmic barriers placed on this. You can have all the intimacy you can stomach. The same can’t be said for things like fame, money, sex, contentment, significance – all the other things we spend our lives chasing.
Our world will always be crawling with opportunities for close friendships. They might be “toxic,” and you might not always get to befriend the beautiful, popular, amazing people, but because this is such a big deal for Jesus, you can bet He’ll be expending His resources, helping you navigate the myriad hardships, as you seek the “oneness” that seemed to be His greatest priority.
As you move forward in your faith, or if you’re someone considering faith for the first time, understand that there is no faith without love, and there is no love without a reckless pursuit of human closeness.
And if that makes you feel anything other than hope, you’ve got some work to do.
I agree that message of love in Christianity is often replaced by the message of rules. I, however, have a different take on ‘morality’. I see the popular interpretation of this term as ‘rules’ as simply another facet of this replacement of the message of Jesus. If morals are understood as the structure of the behavior which leads us into closer intimacy with each other and God (as appears in the Gospels and articulated further by Paul), then following them will lead to Paul’s ‘Fruits of the spirit”, which articulate Jesus’ understanding of intimacy. Thomas Jefferson did something on this line when he posited the unique value of the human person as the cornerstone for the new American form of government. Such worth can’t be proved, but as he saw it, was part of Jesus’ essential message.
Totally agree – when I mentioned “morality” I was more referring to rules and traditions that have supplanted love. Morality should always be a slave to love, not vice versa.