According to scripture, Jesus’ followers have been charged with the awful task of bringing peace into a not so frequently peaceful world.

I agree with the Bible here, and try my best to comply, seeking unity, reconciliation, forgiveness, compassion, etc. wherever I can.

At this point in my life, I’d give myself a solid C+.

Until I get behind the wheel. Whatever road rage exists in our culture, rest assured that I’ve contributed to it. I’ve yelled at other drivers, my wife shaking her head, my oldest kid begging me to calm down. I have a fairly high tolerance for humanity’s dark side, but bad driving drives me nuts.

I don’t spend much time critiquing my own driving faux pauses, however. They’re occasionally infrequent, accidental, understandable. Everyone makes mistakes.

If you, however, merge into oncoming traffic because you’re trying to get around a bicyclist, forcing me to get out of your way, in my own lane, I’ll get angry. If you get to a 4 way stop before I do, then wait for me to go, because you think it’s nice, forcing me to figure out whether or not you’ll pull out in front of me because you’re the one with the right of way, wasting my time because you could have simply rolled through, then I could’ve rolled through, I’ll get angry. And if you ride my ass, following so closely as to endanger my life, don’t be surprised if I tap my brakes to let you know that you need to back off.

Never mind how dangerous that is. And never mind that I do all that stuff too.

But the problem with my outbursting isn’t just that it’s hypocritical. What bothers me most is that it spreads far beyond me. My hand gestures, frequent honking, etc. dig into the already frustrated/anxious/inflamed souls of other Americans, inciting them to act as bad, or worse, than I do.

I think that’s the endgame of anger – to spread as far into the lives of others as possible, doing just as much destruction in their lives as it has in mine. That’s probably why the Bible, on so many occasions, begs us to choose “peace” – it spreads just as far beyond its perpetrator as anger does.

Drive Aloha

A few months ago, while riding shotgun in a parking lot on Oahu, a friend of mine uttered two simple words that have begun to shiver the timbers of my bad driving.

We had just finished surfing at a beach where there weren’t many waves. It was cold and rainy, and I’m not a very good surfer. It was a tough day. My friend lives on the island, a far better surfer than myself, and had a great time catching waves that spent the day escaping me.

I was cold, tired, a bit miffed, not in the mood for his style of driving.

When he stopped at an intersection and waited way too long to make his turn, skipping holes in the oncoming traffic that a three-year-old could have made, I quipped something akin to, “Would you like me to drive?”

Calmly, without making eye contact, he said:

“Drive aloha.”

I’m not sure that I fully understand the concept of aloha, but I knew that I was being called out. Apparently, in Hawaiian culture, it’s not cool to drive like a jackass. If you pay attention when you’re there, you’ll notice it – people drive a bit slower. You might be given the right of way when you don’t have it. Nobody will pull out in front of you, or, in general, act like they’re the only ones on the road.

Sure, there are exceptions, but most of the time, the only people driving like me are the people like me – main-lander’s in rental vehicles driving like they’re late for their next sunburn.

Aloha is typically defined as kindness, compassion, mercy, general good-will towards others. It’s a big deal in Hawaiian culture and has had a profound impact, far beyond the people who wield it. It’s such a big deal that it’s encoded in Hawaii Revised Statutes, Section 5-7.5:

“(b) In exercising their power on behalf of the people and in fulfillment of their responsibilities, obligations and service to the people, the legislature, governor, lieutenant governor, executive officers of each department, the chief justice, associate justices, and judges of the appellate, circuit, and district courts may contemplate and reside with the life force and give consideration to the “Aloha Spirit.” [L 1986, c 202, §1]”

As you can imagine, this “Aloha Spirit” is contagious. It spreads to everyone. It got to me, and has forced me to reconsider how I drive, which has also forced me to reconsider how I interact with people in general.

Whatever aloha is, when someone gives it to you, you’re compelled to give it to someone else. It’s like anger, but with a different result, and it travels far beyond our reach whenever we choose to throw it.

Shalom, Peace, and War

The ancient Hebrew world had a similar idea, “Shalom.” Far as I can tell, it means “completeness,” although it’s most commonly translated as “peace.” Even today, shalom is considered to be on of the most hallowed Jewish values. It seeks to take what is broken and bring reconciliation and healing, ultimately leading to wholeness. If that requires conflict on some level, so be it.

Shalom is worth it.

Trying to wrap my head around the deeper meaning of shalom has left me with a difficult question: when exactly is conflict called for as we seek to bring peace and reconciliation into our world, ultimately leading to the “wholeness” and “completeness” that seems to be shalom’s endgame?

My answer, for now, is this: in the majority of unpeaceful, broken, divisive, “hot” circumstances where people are angry, hurt, about to explode, etc., war is not the answer. Bad marriages, busted friendships, divisive politics, with some exceptions, are too frequently brought to heel by people who have committed themselves to shalom.

We’re tempted instead to win, to prove to whomever gets in our way that we’re in the right. We feel threatened in these arenas, overwhelmed by the temptation to protect ourselves above all else.

Most of the time, however, there is no threat.

Regardless, angry and afraid, we go to war.

Shalom seems to have the ability to discern when it’s time to go toe-to-toe, and when it’s time to slap someone in the face with peace, kindness, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and reconciliation. In my personal experiences with humanity, the latter has typically been the appropriate weapon.

But the American obsession with “strength,” and her cousin, a debilitating fear of “weakness,” begs me to war, while the scriptures call me to be at peace, as much as I can muster.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone.” ~ St. Paul’s letter to the Roman Christians

I’m not even supposed to take revenge, on any level. Paul believed that to be God’s job.

That’s a hard thing to believe, and I wouldn’t score myself high on that one.

But the older (and tireder) I get, the more I’m beginning to believe that, 99% of the time, peace, or shalom, or aloha, or whatever you want to call it, is the best strategy.

It’s not the easiest choice. Peace requires a level of maturity and faith that are taxing to me. But it’s not nearly as difficult as the daily grind of holding on to all the wrongs that people have perpetrated against me. That’s much more difficult, and incites me to spread said spawn of hell to others, doing my part to make sure that my world is more divided than it would be without me.

That’s the endgame of anger – division, isolation, broken relationships. Angry people don’t bring healing and reconciliation into the world, we bring the opposite.

And that should bother us, because anger/division/hatred/isolation doesn’t heal itself, it gets worse, unless there are a significant number of people who’ve committed themselves to the forces that oppose these things.

Peace, Shalom, Aloha, سلام, Ειρήνη, Paz, صلح, शांति, 平和, Мир, สันติภาพ, Barış, etc., all have one goal – to bring healing and reconciliation into our world, to create space for mercy, compassion, kindness, sacrifice, and all the other things that drive us together, which is where we want to be.

My friend’s very short diatribe on the importance of aloha was never intended to be some lecture on bringing peace into the world, but it was a great reminder that that my driving, my interactions with my kids, my friendships, social media, meagre blog attempts, are all entry points into humanity.

How I behave here echoes far beyond me, deep into us.

I have the freedom to choose my inputs, good or bad. If I want to bring change into the world, and if I expect the world to be a good place, I can’t act/drive/parent/blog like a jackass, then blame everyone else for how crappy things have gotten.

My religion, and the way I want the world to be, charge me with the awful task of choosing the way of peace/shalom/aloha as much as I am able.

God help me.