Tribes aren’t inherently bad. Humanity has always broken off into smaller groups, based on any number of things like geography, common interests, faith, political ideology, etc. There are times when smaller tribes manage to merge into a bigger tribe, and vice versa. Regardless, if you’re human, and you have a desire to connect with other humans, especially Christian humans, you’re part of a tribe.

Sometimes, tribes get toxic, and when we’re stuck in one we’ll have a hard time finding the exit. Living among people who look, think, believe, and vote exactly as we do is comforting, as is the belief that the people outside of our tribe are some kind of evil. Add to that the pain of admitting to ourselves that we’ve been in the wrong for so long and you get a task that’s nigh unto impossible.

Toxic Tribalism

It’s important that we first admit that we’re part of a tribe, then audit it, asking difficult questions and forcing ourselves to be open to the possibility that it might be time to leave.

Segregated?

I’ve never seen our country as divided as it is now, our tribes pointing fingers and vilifying each other like never before. Add to that America’s growing penchant for political hate speech – and our sucker-level acceptance of it – and you get a bunch of toxic tribes that aren’t going to heal themselves.

In the middle of all of this is segregation, i.e., the refusal on our part to get any level of face-time with people who don’t look, think, and act like we do. In this, our beliefs go unchallenged, free to run unfettered, which is fine when our beliefs are the right ones.

But people who segregate themselves in this regard rarely have the right beliefs.

Segregation at any level – racial, political, ideological – is the easiest way to spot a toxic tribe.

They’re Coming to Get You

Second to segregation, and closely related to it, is the idea that there are people outside of our tribe who pose some kind of threat to life, liberty, and happiness. The anti-gun control tribe has fallen victim to this, for example, claiming that any level of assault-rifle control is the first step towards the removal of all guns. Once our guns have been confiscated, the government can do whatever it wants.

We won’t be able to defend ourselves.

Never mind that the government has much more firepower than any civilian and can do whatever the anti-gun control tribe is afraid of without taking everyone’s guns.

This fear doesn’t come from a lack of reason, or cognitive ability. It comes from segregation. We put great distance between us and the voices that might challenge us into a bit more objectivity.

The only true threat is the stupidity that follows.

Another good example is Critical Race Theory, now being taught in many schools at the elementary level and beyond. One tribe believes that CRT is not based on any real data and poses a threat to white America’s freedom. A different tribe believes that our system is rigged in favor of whites at the expense of everyone else, and that we need to do something about it.

Because the anti-CRT tribe refuses to get any face time with the pro-CRT tribe, it segregates itself from crucial data, opinion, and perspectives, and a better truth.

Because CRT pushers are the enemy tribe, anything they offer as data or evidence to support their view is condemned as the devil’s agenda, easily burned to the ground. The raw data of unemployment, wages, income, law enforcement, housing, and segregation – all required to get at the core of this issue – go rabidly unconsidered.

Show me a tribe that’s segregated itself from other tribes, one that can’t articulate their concerns and has declared them a threat, and I’ll show you a tribe that’s gone toxic.

Politicians, influencers, and and media outlets who wield the power of our tribes for their own personal gain (they are legion) are the final nail in the coffin. They audit the hopes and fears of the biggest tribes, then leverage the proper words and symbols to convince us that they’re part of our tribe, that we were right all along; the people outside of our tribe are dangerous.

Stuck?

Sadly, the only way out is a step we won’t take.

Logistically, it’s easy, especially for Christians. All you have to do is grab a coffee or (preferably) something stronger and ask questions. “I want to understand why you are pro gun control,” for example, is a great place to start. Don’t argue or debate. Just listen. Learn. Understand.

You don’t have to walk away a tree-hugging hippy liberal, but you do have to walk away with an education. If you’re part of a toxic tribe, that’s something you desperately need.

When I moved from the deep South to downtown Denver, I changed tribes. You might accuse me of being a sucker for whatever political wind dominates the culture, and you might be right.

What pushed me over the edge was a conversation with a highly educated OB resident who ripped me to shreds for my view on abortion. Everything she said was verifiable, fundamental to any discussion about abortion, and completely missing from my white, conservative, suburban tribe’s abortion discourse.

Completely.

It wasn’t the data that convinced me of the need to switch tribes, it was the fact that my tribe had missed so much.

Listening changed everything.

Don’t hear me saying that my old tribe is evil, or worthy of abandonment. I have many friends from that crowd and I engage them on social media and beyond. I tune in to their media outlets. I am neither frightened of them or segregated from their opinion.

Emotionally, for most of America, taking this step is almost impossible. I stumbled into it, forced, you might say. I would’ve never chosen to sit across the coffee table from someone so drunk on liberal Kool Aide.

But it was a powerful conversation, one that taught this Jesus follower a much needed lesson on the dangers of toxic tribalism and the importance of humility in the political arena.

I also learned that someone from a different tribe isn’t always crazy, or dangerous.