me too movement men

What the #MeToo Movement Implies About Men in America

The biggest complaint I hear about the #metoo movement is that women shouldn’t have this kind of power.

Nobody should have the ability to simply utter something that could ruin a person’s career. But that’s what’s happening. Judge Kavanaugh’s name has been dragged through the mud, so has Donald Trump’s, and a host of other powerful/famous people.

Many claim that these women are merely seeking fame, or hate their victims, or both.

For me, there are two things about the #metoo movement that I never hear, two things that, in my opinion, stink to high heaven.

First, where are the lawsuits?

Crying “sexual harassment,” especially if it never happened, is something that can get you in a ton of trouble. Donald Trump could easily turn around and ruin you financially if he wanted to. Brett Kavanaugh could do the same.

Why don’t they?

If I had a career that could be ruined by an accusation like this, I’d seek legal action. I’d do everything in my power to clear my name, prove my innocence, and hold onto my career – unless I was guilty, then I’d do everything in my power to steer clear of these people, lie to my fans, and try to move forward.

In this #metoo movement, to my knowledge, there have been 0 lawsuits.

The second thing that stinks is the very popular declaration that these women have no evidence and therefore shouldn’t have a voice, or the power that comes with it.

And this is where things get downright silly to me. I hear, over and over again, because of the lack of evidence: “These women are lying,” and, “All they want is fame/power/revenge, etc.”

True enough that there’s a dirth of evidence in all of this – you can’t convict Judge Kavanaugh on someone’s word, even if there are three someones. But, apparently, you can convict these women of lying based on the same lack of evidence.

I’m begging – If we can’t convict someone like Brett Kavanaugh because there’s not enough evidence, can we please stop calling these women liars – there’s no evidence there either. We should be consistent, especially if being inconsistent means stripping a woman of her voice.

This whole thing smells of something very old.

Ours country has never been fair to women. Despite our attempts at equality, women are still paid less, and still occupy “lower” positions in the working world than men. Dudes, don’t get angry that I said this – there’s a mountain of proof at our fingertips to back me up.

Now, with the #metoo movement, men especially talk about a woman’s voice in this arena, and how the power that comes with it “bothers” them.

The men who ridicule the #metoo voices, or in some way marginalize them, seem to never talk about how risky it is for these women to come forward, or the myriad emotional barriers involved in exercising their voice.

It seems that there are many in our country who just want these women to shut up.

When I do the math, i.e., women aren’t treated fairly + so many want them shushed, I smell the discrimination that’s always bedeviled us. When I hear the opposition talk one-sided about this issue, and their angry/scared voices, I see symptoms of a very old problem.

Men in our country have always had more power than women. With #metoo, a woman’s voice has more power than it’s ever had. And that’s making us nervous. We should be awed by such a powerful shift in culture and equality.

But nobody in power ever appreciates a power shift.

In any culture, when humans in a position of power are threatened by the humans below them, the humans in power get nervous, angry. Is that what’s happening here?

Someone recently suggested that my perspective/opinion/feelings about the #metoo movement are political. They’re not. Us men want you women to keep your mouths shut and know your place. That’s what we’ve always wanted. This isn’t a political issue, it’s an issue of justice, and I’m a Christian man who believes that the Bible is the word of God, speaks ad-nauseum about injustice, and commands me to respond when I see it.

I’m also a white male. It’s easier for me to get ahead in our world than non-white non-males. And when I see white males telling non-white non-males to shush, I feel the need to speak, and do some shushing of my own.

Guys, dudes, fellow men, there’s no way to let women have more power without giving up some of our own. And in giving up our power, or having it threatened, we’re going to get scared and angry. But we don’t have to.

These women are risking a ton to speak, and climbing a mountain of emotional pain to bring their grievances to bear. They’re also teaching us that sexual assault/harassment/brokenness is a huge problem.

They need to speak, and we need to listen, honor who they are, mourn what they’ve been through, strongly consider that God Himself might be the one driving all of this, and consider what other ways we might use our power to bring liberty and justice to people who have less of it than we do.

7 thoughts on “What the #MeToo Movement Implies About Men in America”

  1. I am a woman who was a victim but became a survivor. I watched the testimonies of both Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh. I watched with fresh eyes and an open mind, despite all the lackluster accusations that have been posed of late. Fellow survivors such as myself have agreed on one thing, singularly, without prejudice. Dr. Ford’s testimony lacked credibility. Dr. Ford’s testimony lacked relatability. Dr. Ford’s testimony lacked the primal emotional response that majority of women who have been assaulted either verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually. She recanted on her own statements during the whole thing a few times, adding to the list of inconsistencies. When questioned, she recanted even further. She could not recall events and even admitted to of fabricated things such as her statement that there were conversations that were had in another area of the house which she later admitted she could not of heard. Her own witnesses of which there were 4 all stated it did not happen. Judge Kavanaugh responded in the most raw emotional way, the grief and pain was evident in both his voice and body language. Not just for himself, but his family and all his friends as well as associates who have been dragged down this dirt path and turned into mud. Due to these baseless accusations, people who have long stood with him have turned their backs on him. He had affidavits from countless women stating his innocent and the credibility of his character, yet he is still dying in a pit of despair because of the accusations posed. As both a woman and a survivor of being a victim, I have questioned why he has not set a lawsuit at her feet for all the emotional and mental damages wrought by this whole mess. It came to me though. He acknowledged she may have been attacked, but vehemently and consistently denied it having been him, to which they cannot even place him at the location of the crime itself. During Judge Kavanaughs part in this whole thing, he said his daughter wanted to pray for Dr. Ford. I think it is his close attachment to his understanding of God, his family, and of the fact that Dr. Ford may well of been a victim of assault of one kind at one time could of been valid has stopped him from pursuing legal action against the defamation of his character, despite all the turmoil if has caused. As children we are taught and eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. We learn that when we are punched, punching back is just as wrong. It is ingrained in us that tit for tat is wrong and two wrongs don’t make a right. Judge Kavanaugh is a victim of a manhunt to destroy the lives of people who worked for it. As a woman I believe power like this should not exist for men or for women. As a survivor of being a victim, I named my attacker and I grew from it. This has nothing to do with equality or justice, this is a declaration of war against the fundamentals that are a good wholesome family unit. Judge Kavanaugh does not deserve this persecution, his family does not deserve to be perceived as enablers of a predator, they do not deserve to lose the close familial bonds they have worked their entire lives to create. Yes lack of evidence does not mean there was no crime, but when all of the supposed evidence, witnesses, and first hand accounts fall to pieces, it is high time to exonerate the man of the accused and a full public apology is in dire need. I am neither democrat or republican, I am a libertarian, and this is not justice.

    1. I totally agree with your perspective. And do know that there is plenty to point towards Dr Ford not being honest about something. If you follow it more closely? I did read through Marks article. And I don’t see it fair in the face of the whole situation. It’s political. And if that’s not obvious to any thinking person. That stinks! It was all a ploy to prevent Brett Kavanaugh from being voted into the open Supreme Court Position🙏

  2. I agree with Mark’s insights on this important subject. At the same time, I’d like to put this issue in the perspective of human evolution. Trying to get a clear look at the human species from its inception some two hundred thousand years (or so) past isn’t easy. But in agreement with Mark, males have asserted superiority over females from the git-go, as shown clearly in our sacred books.
    But even as history becomes better recorded, thoughts of the wrongness of civil inequality don’t begin to show up until the mid 1800s, and even then infrequently, and only in the West. This begins to change with the ideas of the ‘Enlightenment’ in the mid 1700s as the increase in the idea of gender (and other) equality begin to slowly infuse the Western social structures. They increase exponentially from the mid 1800’s (along with other metrics of human welfare, such as health, wealth, education) until we have reached the point that we can see progress in gender and racial equality increasing in a single lifetime.
    Consider the timeline: two hundred thousand years of only a trickle, followed by two hundred years of explosion in the West, followed by twenty years of incorporation of such increases in welfare and equality outside the West. If human evolution were a book of a thousand pages, the incorporation of racial and gender equality into the social contract represented by constitutions would not appear until the last word of the last sentence of the last page.
    This offers a difference in perspective from Mark’s post. While we must respect the work still to be done on this subject, we need to celebrate how quickly things are improving. The alternative is to denigrate the progress, fear the future, and leave the door open to populist opportunists who alone can save us from our pathetic natures.

  3. “These women are risking a ton to speak, and climbing a mountain of emotional pain to bring their grievances to bear. They’re also teaching us that sexual assault/harassment/brokenness is a huge problem.”

    Well said. That and the rest of it.

    One could add that another barrier to speaking out is the still wide-spread denial of friends, family, teachers, politicians and whoever else has an interest in looking the other way. They cannot or will not conceive, each for their own reasons, that these assaults take place. To admit it would cause too much pain. What can be done to move past that barrier, I wonder.

We love comments! Please share your thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.