How Changing My Mind About Changing Everything Changed My Life

I wish I would’ve learned this in my 30’s, it would’ve saved so much grief, frustration, relational entropy – emotional energy.

I’ve spent most of my life believing that situation determines happiness – the right job, a good boss, money, etc.  I’ve had multiple careers as a result – nothing salves a crappy life better than a drastic change.

There have been some fun moments, tons of things to be learned, not many of which have helped in my latest career – Stay At Home Dad (SAHD).  Regardless of where I’ve landed vocationally, there’s always been a nagging compulsion to change everything as soon as life becomes stale, boring, unjust, or downright bad.

Feeling like I can’t be happy until things change has always made me downright bitter, especially in those times where I was powerless to change things. There’s nothing worse than being stuck, feeling like you’re supposed to be somewhere else.

Everything changed in my late 40’s when I was assaulted in a men’s airport restroom.

I left my wife at the gate with 3 ancy kids, hoping to be back in time to board.  This particular facility was attended by a soon-to-be elderly gentleman of Middle-Eastern descent. Continue reading How Changing My Mind About Changing Everything Changed My Life

5 Ways American Culture Mimics the Mind of a Bad Teenager

We’ve grown up.

We no longer answer to grandma’s prudish sensibilities.  We have more money, a better grasp of our physical universe, and much, much more freedom than any generation before us.

We’re more mature than we used to be, like the way a teenager is more mature than a six year old.

That’s a good thing.  If we can grow out of it.

In the meantime, here’s a short list of big things that betray our country’s teenage tendencies.

Smarter Than We’ve Ever Been, and More Arrogant

Our knowledge of the universe stretches far beyond our ancestors’ – and is growing at breakneck speed.

But every time we make a huge discovery, we simultaneously uncover ten times as many unknowns, stacked upon the vast universe of unknowns that already exist.  We should be humbled by this, but we’re not.  And the stuff we don’t know?  Psssht.  We’ll soon figure it all out. Continue reading 5 Ways American Culture Mimics the Mind of a Bad Teenager

When “Love Thy Neighbor” Means Being Kind to Someone You’d Rather Duct Tape to an ICBM

To my knowledge, I’ve only had one neighbor that hated my guts.

And I hated her back.

My wife and I had just bought our first house, in Denver, a place where the cheapest houses aren’t very cheap. You’d think after paying all that $$ you’d at least get a decent neighbor.

On our first night, Elaine called my attention to the old, beat up, crappy van that was parked in full view of our living room window. Our neighbor parked it in front of our house because she didn’t want to look at it from her living room window.

She was older, super wealthy, apparently, and kept the old van for sentimental reasons. I never said anything about it – felt too weird to begin our relationship with a complaint.

That was the first of many annoyances.

At the time, I was attempting to start a church – something I would later learn I’m not very good at. I was stressed out most of the time and didn’t have much time for the people closest to me, much less a crazy neighbor.

Long story short, all the bad neighbor stuff she threw my way I returned in kind.

After a few years, things finally blew up.

My dog yipped a few times from our porch one evening and bad neighbor let me have it – she YELLED, standing in her yard, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

At this point, I wasn’t just fed up with her, Continue reading When “Love Thy Neighbor” Means Being Kind to Someone You’d Rather Duct Tape to an ICBM